Friday, April 8, 2011


  • I finally packed all his stuff up. I'll admit I cried when I did it. I'll admit I laid down on the bed with one of his shirts and just bawled my eyes out. I'm healing, but I do still love him. Not as much as I did 7 years ago, or even 3 weeks ago, but I do still love him.
  • I don't know what I would do without my friends. Even though most of you are E-friends, you've helped me so much over the past four years and especially during the last 3 weeks. I love you all and I am so glad you're a part of my life. As for my IRL friends, I love you guys too. I love you for sitting up all night on Yahoo messenger, Xbox, Facebook, or your phone to talk to me. To offer me support, and lend a shoulder for me to cry on. I love you for not turning away when I cry, for not making me feel like an ass for wishing he'd come home.
  • Today is one of those days when I wish the yellow and black truck would pull up. These days are occurring less and less. I wish they'd go away all together. I hate having the desire to see him. I just want to forget it...forget him. I can't, but I wish I could. All I can think about is what we'd be doing this time of year. I'd be getting ready to get Easter baskets for the boys. Who will be the Easter Bunny this year??? Who's going to help plan the birthday parties? Who's going to take pictures when we go to Boo at the Zoo? Who's gonna be Santa Claus? Who's gonna teach them silly things like how to catch a ball, pee standing up, and how to shave? 
  • It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to be a single mom. I don't want to have to do it on my own. 

  • At the same time... I hate him, and I hate her. Hate is a strong word, but I do, I hate them. They ruined my babies' lives.  She took my husband away. She took their daddy away. I hate her!!!! I hope karma comes back and bites them both in the ass...HARD!!!!
  • Okay, time to get over my funk, dry my eyes, and get ready for my date. I just really had to get all that out.

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