Thursday started out being a wonderful day. I was excited, and anxious. It ended up being a pretty awful day.
Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself. I know what the outcome is going to be, but yet I still get myself worked up.
I wish Lindsey didn't live so far away, she's the only one that really understands, and it's just not the same talking over a text message. I really need to go see her... SOON!!!!
I wish I was able to be 100% open on here. I have so much I want to say, but I can't.
I've been sleeping on the couch for the past two weeks because I can't deal with the empty bed anymore.
I cry myself to sleep every night because it hurts so much.
I've been thinking about getting a second job to keep myself busy, but I don't know if Mom and Matt would be willing to keep the boys more often.
I don't know what I am going to do when Matt goes back on the road. I suppose I will have to quit Gymboree and go back to being a Stay-At-Home mom. He was originally supposed to go back next month, but I don't know if that is still a go or not.
I feel like Bob and I aren't on the same page when it comes to what we want out of life. I also haven't talked to him about this because we rarely see each other and when he is home we usually have 900 things to do while he's here.
It's nights like this that make me want to knock on the neighbor's door and ask him for a cigarette, but I won't. As much as I want to... I won't...
I wish I had the ability to see into the future, but at the same time I wonder if I really want to know how things will progress.
Everybody around me is sick, but you know what really sucks? When you have two sick kids, and you're sick, and yet you have to just get over it because there is nobody there to help you. You know what I do when I'm sick? I change diapers, I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I wash dishes, I vacuum the floor, I pick up toys, I give baths, I clean the tub, sink, and toilet, I grocery shop, and at the end of the day I give hugs, kisses, and cuddles to my boys before I put them to bed.
Does anyone ask how I'm feeling? Sure, my co-workers do. Does my husband? Nope... he asks how the boys are, but not one time has he asked how I am. When he's sick I check on him to make sure he's doing okay, the day after he's sick I ask him how he's feeling. Is it so hard to return the favor now and then?
Now that I've done my woe is me post (Maybe I should change Friday Randoms to Woe is Me Friday) it's time for a picture that is sure to cheer anyone up...
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