It's Been Entirely Way Too Long

I'm now 12 weeks pregnant. I'm working two jobs. I'm doing new line at Gymboree twice a month and I work full time as a lead associate at Dollar General. Daniel is still unemployed. It's getting very frustrating but we're making it work. Bob quit his job so he isn't paying child support anymore either. I guess his girlfriend makes enough money for him to mooch off her. Oh well, he'll do her just like he did Renee and myself. He wanted the boys for Thanksgiving and Patrick told him No, he didn't want to go. We decided not to force the issue. I'm working on Thanksgiving, but we're going to Daniel's parents' after I get off and we're spending Friday with them as well.

Patrick is doing well, he's 4 now. We had a firetruck birthday party. We even took him to the firehouse, but he was scared of the horn and siren. Mason is doing well too. He has a great vocabulary now and he talks non stop, just like his brother.

Other than that there really isn't much going on. I work all the time. I still play darts when I manage to get a Thursday night off. Our last game of the season is December 2nd. We're around mid range for point standings.

I'm sure this one will bring my haters out...

I'm due June 2nd! It's been a crazy couple of weeks, especially the last few days. My family knows, but his family doesn't know yet. I hope we can tell them this coming week. He's nervous to tell them.

Broken Computer

My computer has been broken for going on a month now so I haven't been able to blog. We're at Debbie's house for a Labor Day get together so I thought I'd jump on the computer and update my readers on what's going on. Not much to report really, but we're all still alive and healthy. Mason started speech last week, and he's already improved so much. Kayla went back to Abilene. Patrick didn't get into Pre-K this year but we're going to do the early sign up for next year. Daniel still doesn't have a job, but he's trying. I'm still at Gymboree. I guess that's all there is really.

Updates!

Mason: Mason has his behavior evaluation and speech evaluation next week. He's started talking a little more since we've been working with him. His breathing has been really good lately. He hasn't needed any meds for a couple weeks now. I'm hoping it stays that way. He's getting so big. He's 19 months now. They grow up way too fast.

Patrick: Patrick is doing well too. Not to much to report on him. He'll be four next month. We're doing a fire truck theme for his party. He's excited already!

Kayla: Kayla will be starting school with us this year. She made the decision to move in with us. She has a little boyfriend here named Gio. He's 11 too, and shorter than Kayla (most 11 year olds are shorter than Kayla though lol).

Me: I'm still working part time at Gymboree, though without a sitter I don't get many hours. Most of my time is spent taking care of the home and of course the kids.

Daniel: Daniel lost his job last week. He's taking it pretty hard, but we're working on finding him something else. Hopefully it doesn't take long.

Other than that there really isn't much going on. It's been a crazy week with all four kids here. Lindsey is going home today so hopefully the four of us can get in a routine now since school will be starting soon.

Monday Madness

It's been awhile since I posted a Monday Madness blog. I haven't had much going on really. This week seems to be a little busier though.

Today was an easy day. We hung out at home with the kids, played Phase 10 and Daniel and I played some "hockey" (which is really me throwing the practice ball and him hitting it back to me). Kayla is in town right now because Nana is in the hospital.

Tomorrow morning we're car shopping, then gym, then ice skating (hockey drills for Daniel), then maybe dinner at his parents (it'll be the first time they meet the kids).

Wednesday Lindsey will be here and we'll probably go swimming while Daniel works.

Thursday night is the first dart game of the season. We play Red's at The Putter.

Friday I'm going to see if we can maybe get a sitter for the boys and then send the girls to a movie so Daniel and I can have a date night.

Saturday should be Dark Heresy day as long as Daniel doesn't have to work so he can watch the kiddies.

Thursday Thankfuls

Today I am thankful for...

• Good looking doctors and nurses at the Emergency Room (Sorry Daniel, but they were good looking HAHA)
• Margie and Scott for keeping the boys last night while Daniel and I were at the ER (I was having chest pains)
• Daniel!!!!!!!!!! 'nuff said
• The upcoming dart season (1 week from today)... I am so ready to do this!!!
• My facebook friends for caring so much last night that my phone never shut up while in the ER lol
• The boys being so well behaved today so I can rest, I am in so much pain.

Extreme Couponing

Since I lost my car I've noticed my stockpile is starting to look a little weak. I think this week I may tell Daniel to suck it up and do REAL grocery shopping with me instead of a trip to the store every other day. I think on Wednesday I'm going to finally make my coupon binder.

The hard thing about this is going to be the fact that Daniel is the world's pickiest eater. He says he'll try to get used to eating the things we do instead of having all three of us change the way we eat. Just wait until I get out of my weight loss funk and start eating as healthy as I used to. He's going to hate it. He even jokingly mentioned eating as his parent's house every night.

I can't wait until we get a bigger place so I have more room for my stockpile. Right now it's in a little corner in my kitchen. It looks quite pathetic.

As soon as I get my stockpile back up I'll be sure to share some pictures with my readers.

Friday Randoms

• I'm glad my boys are home! I missed them so much!!!
• The dart banquet was fun last night
• I drank way too much, lucky for me I had a DD (thanks Daniel haha)
• The new season should start in two weeks, I'm excited
• I'm sad because I've been missing Big Brother :(
• In 2-3 days I will be crossing over to the dark side and be an iPhone owner (we ordered it just now)
• I can't wait!!!
• I love my new tattoo
• Patrick has brushed his teeth 4 times since he got home... crazy
• I want to go swimming, I can't wait until the tat is healed so I can go
• I am so ready to move 

An End to a Kid Free Week

My babies will be home tomorrow. I can't wait. I miss them like crazy. Daniel and I enjoyed our kid free week though. Friday we played Putt Putt and ate at Red Robin. Saturday I played Dark Heresy with the guys (they weren't impressed with my Yankee's gear. LOL). I had to work Sunday night for new line. Daniel had to work all day Monday, but he took me to Red Lobster for dinner and then we got ice cream and walked around the Highlands and talked while we enjoyed our ice cream. On Tuesday we saw Horrible Bosses and I met his parents, sister and cousin. That was a fun night! I really like his family. We watched the MLB All-Star Game. Yesterday we went to lunch, did some shopping and...

I got my first tattoo!!!! YAY!!!

Tonight is the dart banquet and Daniel will get to meet my "Putter Family" lol. Oh speaking of darts...I am on the league for next season as a full time player instead of an alternate. That is going to be awesome.

I can't wait to have my babies back in my arms tomorrow. I've missed them so much and I think Daniel may miss them even more than I do haha. The quiet is nice, but we both agree it's nice for a night or two, but after that you really start to miss stepping over toys and being awaken by Mason talking to his teddy bear.

Friday Randoms!!

• I'm waiting on Bob to pick the boys up. Funny how we always have a set time and he never shows up at said time. I wonder if he's going to be 4 hours late this time too?!
• Lindsey and Kayla are going home today too
• That means Daniel and I will have a whole week to ourselves without kids!!!
• We've got a lot planned
• I'm supposed to meet the parents on Tuesday, I am beyond nervous
• Supposed to play Dark Heresy tomorrow, but IDK if I will have a way to Josh's house
• Working Sunday for New Line 6-9
• I'm going to laugh so hard if I beat Daniel in Putt Putt...HAHAHA
• Since Daniel has moved in my house has been so clean it's crazy...he's a keeper HAHAHAHA
• I miss my Xbox and my Kindle :(
• I guess that's all I have for now...

Tuesday Thoughts

• My mom is taking Lindsey, Mason, and Patrick tonight, and Kayla is at her dad's. This means Daniel and I are having a date night. YAY!! He's surprising me.
• My tooth is killing me again and it's getting quite annoying
• We had a good time at the river on Saturday and Patrick loved the water slide
• It's almost time to start planning Patrick's birthday party
• I want to take the kids to see Cars 2
• Bob is picking the boys up on Saturday and I think the girls, Daniel, and I are going to do some Putt-Putt, and bowling while they are gone.
• I cannot wait until we can move into a bigger place. It's going to be crazy when Daniel starts bringing all his stuff over here
• I've already lost half my closet to hockey equipment lol
• I guess that's all I have for now

oh and an update... Mason is 18% for weight at 22 lbs and 50% for height at 31 inches. His shots were deferred because he was wheezing. He's on a new medication.

Happy 4th of July

I hope all my readers are having a happy and safe 4th of July. Here are a couple pictures of my beautiful family. <3

Skeebs, Boo, and Mommy 

We're starting them young

Rocking his necklace (it looks better on me anyway)

He just loved this hat!

Beautiful family!

No more dating for this mama...

So I've put off writing this blog because I've been busy. It's been a whirlwind of a week, and while most people think it's moving too fast I say I don't care what most people think. :)

Allow me to introduce you to Daniel...

Yes, he's met my kids, yes, he's meeting my parents tomorrow, and yes, we are living together. 

Guess Who's Single Again?

Are you ready for more insight into the single mom's dating life? Well good because you're going to get your wish. Apparently I've suffered what my friends and I like to call the curse of the correctional officer. They spend hours a day shutting themselves off in order to keep themselves from making a connection with an inmate that they don't realize they do the same thing at home. In the past month myself and two of my friends have met a correctional officer through the same means (two on the same site even) and all three of them ran away at the mere thought of having to open up to someone.

My only regret is he already met the boys, but it is what it is and one day he'll wake up and realize what he had and that day I'll be waking up next to the one that always knew it. :)

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my dad, John.
Happy Father's Day to my step-dad, Matt.
Happy Father's Day to my grandpas, Darrell and Raymond
Happy Father's Day to my uncles, Donnie, David, Mark
Happy Father's Day to Ernie

Happy Father's Day to my male blog readers

and yes, even Happy Father's day to Bob

but right now I want to say a HUGE Happy Father's Day to Scott... you are a true blessing in my boys' lives. You and Margie have helped us out so much I will forever be grateful, but you, Scott, you are such a great male role model in my boys' lives. I appreciate you so much for that. I know the boys love you. Thank you!

Friday Randoms!!

• I wish someone would bring me a coney and chili cheese tots from Sonic with a Vanilla Coke Zero
• I cut and dyed my hair yesterday. It looks freaking amazing...
• Last night was so much fun! Last game of the season, and banquet in two weeks.
• Summer league starts in July and I hope we can get another team going so I can play full time
• My dad took the boys fishing for the first time last night and they had so much fun. They're gone for a week and it's only the first morning without them and I already miss them like crazy
• I need to clean Boy's (the fish) bowl out, but I have to admit I have no idea how do it...do I take the fish out and put him in another bowl or ???
• I am going to spend my kid free time cleaning, it isn't going to do any good because it'll be a mess as soon as they get home again haha
• Bob's supposed to pick the boys up on July 9th... nearly 3 months since the last time he saw them...
• I was all ready to sleep til noon today and my Nana woke me up at 10:00 over some trivial nonsense that I really didn't care about...now I'm tired and hungover and I can't go back to sleep because the light comes in my windows too much.
• I think that's all for now... I need to go eat something

Tuesday Thoughts

• I miss him!
• My dad is coming to pick the boys up on Thursday. I'm sure that'll piss Bob off because they'll be there for Father's Day so they won't be calling him. 
• I wish I could spend my kid free time with E but he is helping his brother this weekend
• I'll probably go out and watch mom, Donna, Debbie, and Janie play darts at Red's then end up doing karaoke with Donna at The Armadillo on Thursday then just sitting at home the rest of the weekend.
• Lindsey goes home tomorrow
• After having 3 kids by myself for 3 weeks I am so ready for this break and I love my dad, sister, and step mom for taking them
• I look forward to 3:00-3:30 every day so I can hear from him. He works over night 
• I need to get back to the gym
• I did some major couponing on Sunday. I saved 47% at Tom Thumb and Kroger and saved $15 at Albertsons. I now have a little stock pile going and I love it!!!!! E's proud of me too and that is awesome <3 <3 <3 

My house to yours

It's 188 miles from Arlington to Huntsville. That feels a lot longer than it sounds. I don't think you realize how much you've changed my life since you walked up to me at Souper Salad on April 15th. I realized while we sat in the theater and watched Sucker Punch that you and I would had serious potential. I knew as we left the movie and drove back to get my car that I wanted you to meet my children.

When I was down about my first Mother's Day as a single mom you drove in to see me. You met my boys that day. We ended up at Souper Salad again (we will eat here every time you come now because it's special to me). This was the first time you spent the night and waking up next to you felt great! Sleeping alone really sucks.

When I heard you were sick and in the ER I cried, and cried, and cried some more. I hated that I couldn't be there with you. I was scared.

Last week I got to meet your youngest son. He's such a well behaved handsome young man. I can tell you have taught your boys great manners and respect. I appreciate you for that. It takes a strong man to do what you've done. To handle what you've been dealt. We went to Souper Salad for dinner and managed to survive it with a teenager, a pre-teen, and two toddlers... and had a great laugh at "ohh that one's not ours" LMAO

Thursday I finally made the drive to see you. It was wayyy longer than 188 miles because I was leaving from Chad's apartment (where I'd been working all day). The second best part of the trip was being able to stop at Buc-ee's but the best part of the trip...

Even though I looked a hot mess from working and sweating all day you still wrapped your arms around me and kissed me. <3 <3 <3

I met your other son and again I must say you did one heck of a job raising your boys. I admire you for all you've done. You're a hard working man, a great father, and an amazing boyfriend.

I'm glad you are in my life. I desire to drop that 188 miles down to far less, but for now I'd make that drive every day if it meant being in your arms when I reached my destination.

Loki, Patrick, and A Boy

It's been a crazy week already and it's only Wednesday. I've avoided blogging for a little bit because it seems that every time I talk about something on here or facebook that may not make sense to someone, they find a way to twist it around and try to make it mean something it doesn't (or maybe it does and you just don't need to worry about it... HAHA just kidding).

Moving on...
Saturday night I woke up to Lindsey telling me Loki pooped all over the bathroom floor and there was blood. I cleaned it up and went back to bed thinking he had eaten something that didn't agree with him. Sunday morning I woke up to more blood and a bunch of dog mess in the bathroom. It smelled AWFUL...way worse than "normal". He wouldn't eat or drink or take his treats. He didn't want to play, and he wouldn't go outside. He just laid behind the toilet and whimpered. After doing some research, talking to some friends, and some vets I decided to be safe and take him in because all signs pointed to Parvo and I cannot have that around my children. The shelters were closed since it's Sunday so I found an emergency vet (ohh let me back up and say there is noooo way I can afford any of the treatments out there for this). The vet suggested it be best we leave Loki with him, I agreed and requested he not call to tell us any news. I'm 99% sure they put him down, but like I said I didn't want to know. There is no way I could handle knowing.

I cried, Lindsey cried, Patrick... well Patrick took it the hardest of all. He was inconsolable and NOTHING would calm him down... except the fish tank at the vet so I decided to go spend the last $20 I had for the week and buy him a fish. It's a blue beta and he named him A Boy. He loves A Boy and he says good morning to him every day and goodnight to him every night. He feeds him and "plays" with him (which is making faces and talking to him through the fish bowl).  Patrick still asks for Loki, but Margie told him a great story about what happens when our pets pass away and he seems to be doing better.

We spent all day Sunday bleaching, scrubbing, shampooing, and cleaning the apartment and my car (though you can't tell about my car because it's a mess already).

17 months

My little Skeebs turned 17 months on the 29th. How did he get so old? haha

He's in 12 month clothes, size 4 diapers, size 5 shoes. He weighs 21 pounds. He's on 3 medications (sometimes 4) every day for his RAD (Reactive Airway Disease).

At 17 months Mason can run, throw a ball, drink out of a regular cup, hold a crayon and scribble, and dip his entire hand in ranch dressing (HAHA).

His favorite food is... everything except carrots.
He can say... mama, daddy, bubba, Mason, Loki, hi, bye, Dr Pepper, eat, cup, gick
He sleeps for 12 hours and takes 2 naps during the day
He likes to play cars, football, and army men

And he's very smart!!! Check out this video we took tonight (but excuse my messy apartment, deep cleaning again tomorrow)

Tuesday Thoughts

• I really need to wash my car
• I also REALLY need to do laundry, but it can wait until tomorrow
• IMYLM...
• ...ILYLC!!!! 
• I love having Lindsey here because she is a great help with the boys
• Everything at Gymboree is still $12.99 or less!!!!!!!!
• I started couponing and I can't wait to be one of those extreme couponers
• I love my new Scentsy warmer (Thanks Cindy!!!)
• I'm down SEVENTY FOUR pounds!!!!!!!!!
• I'm starting back at the gym tomorrow
• I miss you (you know who you are)
• I guess that's about it... my mind is pretty clear tonight (or maybe it's cloudy...who knows)

Updates

It's been a crazy week...

My dad was hospitalized because he got very ill with a stomach bug and they realized the kidney was closing up so they had to put a stent in there. He was transported from Breckenridge to Fort Worth while the boys were with them. My step-mom brought the boys back early so she could be with my dad. This was Sunday night.

Monday night Mason was throwing up. Tuesday Mason decided to make a good first impression on Chad (we'll talk more about him later) and threw up all over Central Market. By Wednesday Patrick was saying "my fat belly hurt mama" and Chad was throwing up. By Thursday night Margie and I felt sick to our stomachs and by Friday night Scott was sick too. It's a crazy super bug and with my dad, Chad, and Scott they had body pains, Margie and I didn't, but obviously Mason is too little to tell me if he's in pain.

Played a little Dark Heresy yesterday, it seems like we go forever in between sessions in that game. I wish we could play more often.

Lindsey came last night and she'll be here for a couple of weeks. I hope I'm off next Sunday so I can go see the other Lindsey for her baby shower.

Working 1:30- 6:30 today. I have the world's worst toothache, my face feels like it's swollen, and my throat hurts...

but in other news... Mason is 17 months old today!!!!!

4 hours and other stuff

That's how long it took me to clean the apartment today. I scrubbed every inch of this place. The only thing I didn't do was the dishes. I'll do those before bed. At least I know it will be clean until the boys get home Wednesday. I'm sure by Thursday morning it will be a mess again. It's okay though, I'm ready for my boys to be here with me. It's too quiet and boring without them here.

It's funny because when I have the kids everyone wants to go out, but the one weekend I don't have the kids nobody is around. I do have a dinner date tomorrow night though assuming I don't have to work (or a late dinner if I do have to work). I'm going over to his place and making dinner and I'm sure we'll watch tv and sit around on our phones all night, cause that's how we roll. Haha

Monday I'm going to the Dallas County Courthouse to find out about filing for divorce. It's apparent that he isn't going to do it and it's bad enough there is a 61 day waiting period after you file before it's final. I NEED to get this ball rolling. I am so done being tied to him in any way other than the boys. I'll also be registering Patrick for school this fall. They grow up way too fast. UGH!!!!

I guess that's all I have for tonight. I'm falling asleep at the computer. I don't know why I'm so tired... oh wait yes I do... because I spent 4 hours cleaning this darn apartment by myself.

74

As of Friday morning I had lost another 4 pounds which puts me at 74 pounds lost since February 2010. 

Everyone asks what I'm doing and I have to honestly say that right now I'm not doing anything. I haven't taken a pill, or had surgery, or anything like that. When I first started out we were working out 5 days a week and were following a diet plan we worked up after reading Everything You Need To Know About Fat Loss by Chris Aceto. After we moved to Lewisville in June I actually had gained 20 pounds back. I've finally taken that off and I am at the lowest weight I've been at since I got pregnant with Kayla in 1999. 

I now shop in the Juniors section. I have amazing self confidence now that I didn't have before. It really makes dating easier too because I am so confident in my appearance. Someone asked me the other day "Wow you don't wear much makeup do you?" No I don't because I don't feel like I need to. I wear a little bit of mineral makeup and I wear some eye makeup but that's all. I have a great skin tone that I really don't need to cake the makeup on and I know that. 

Speaking of dating... it's a crazy place out there in dating world. So many guys are only looking for a friend with benefits and I'm just like no thanks. I have no desire to go that route. I've been on a couple dates and I'm getting to know some people. Eventually I will find the one I want to try a relationship with and we'll go from there. Right now... if nothing else I had a good time and I made some amazing friends. Most of them think the fact that I play RPGs and Xbox is the coolest thing ever. They realize I am not like most girls and they enjoy that.

Anyway... now that I am rambling all over the place... I am going to go to bed. 

While you're here reading or stalking my blog why not vote for us on Picket Fence blogs? You can find the link -------> over there under my button. All you have to do is click on it and it should pop up and that's all you have to do. :)

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Kid Free

A whole week with no kids? Whatever will I do???

Tonight of course I am playing darts... we're at the Putter playing "the other Putter team"
I will work a little bit while they are gone too. Oh they are at my dad's by the way. I'm sure I will find something to occupy my free time. We'll see... I've never been away from them for this long before. One thing is for sure... I'll have a clean house.

Speaking of a clean house. My apartment smells like Cinnamon Bears thanks to the most awesome Scentsy  consultant ever, Cynthia Webster. Check out her page https://webstercindy.scentsy.us/Buy?partyId=36970546 and buy from Sara's (that's me) party. You get yummy stuff and I earn discounts because you ordered from my party... it's win win.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday Madness

I have Lindsey here with me right now. I picked her up on Saturday and she was going to go back home tonight, but we decided (her mother and I) that she could miss school tomorrow and stay an extra night. I love having her here because she is a HUGE help and I actually have a clean apartment because cleaning with two boys and no help isn't an easy task. Patrick and Mason love having her here too.

Monday I am off so we'll just hang out at the apartment until I take Lindsey home.
Tuesday I work 12-3 and then I'm taking the boys to my mom's house because I'm going to the movies.
Wednesday I work 12-3 again and hopefully I am not too tired and can get some gym time in.
Thursday I work 12-3 I think and I think I'm subbing for Debbie in darts, but IDK for sure yet.
Friday night I'm on call

I think Lindsey wants to come back again next weekend. Maybe I'll pick her up and we'll go to Abilene so I can see Kayla too. We'll see how the week goes.

Sometime this week or next I need to get Patrick's registration for school started so he can start in August. My baby is growing up way too fast.

Milestones

I hit the 70 pound mark for my weight loss on Monday. I am so proud of myself. HUGE thank you to my Facebook friends who have told me how great I look and that they are proud of me. It makes all the hard work worth it to know that not only do I feel better and see the transformation, but that other people can see it too. That's 70 pounds, 8 inches off the waist, 5 pants sizes, and the best part of the whole thing I BROUGHT MY A1C FROM A 7.5 TO A 5.2 WHICH MEANS THIS MAMA BEAT DIABETES!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my grandma, my step-mom, my sisters, my aunts, and all of my mommy friends out there.

It's my first Mother's Day as a single mom. I have to admit I am going to miss the yummy breakfast, the beautiful flowers, and the shopping trips to Bath and Body Works.

I must say though that I have the most amazing friends in the world. When I found out I was pregnant with Patrick I joined a site called www.whattoexpect.com where I met some amazing women. These women whom I've never met in person are some of my best friends. Today when I got done spending time with Margie (my baby sitter, who also happens to be one of the moms from WTE) at a Scentsy party hosted by Cindy (another WTE mom) I came home to a delivery... Meghan (another totally amazing WTE mom) sent me an edible arrangement for Mother's Day. It was beautiful and oh so thoughtful.

These women have stuck by each other and supported each other for over 4 years!!! That is amazing.  I love each and every one of you (no matter if you're September 07, TTC, December 09, January 10, BL, DM, or any other board).

I will be making my own Mother's Day breakfast tomorrow, but I will be enjoying it with the two most handsome little men ever!!!!

Friday Randoms!!

• I need a new freaking tire. My low pressure light came on after I left darts tonight and when I picked the boys up I noticed there was metal showing on my passenger side front tire
• I have no money for a new freaking tire...
• I wish for once something would go the way I want it to
• Other than my tire tonight was a good night at darts
• We lost like 7 games to 2 (one of the ones we won being won by me YAY)
• Happy Birthday... you know who you are!!!! :)
• IMYLM
• ILYLC
• Bob is picking the boys up today... 
• I have to meet the bitch that broke my family up
• He has the nerve to tell me not to start anything
• Piss off... I am not going to start anything... I don't even want to look at her, let alone talk to her
• I am tired drunk and I need to go to bed
• Goodnight my blog readers
• Have a great weekend!!!

Life as a single mom...

...is a lot like my life as a married mom.

I wake up at 7:00, shower, get on the computer, and drink a diet dr pepper. The boys wake up between 8:00 and 9:00, I give Mason his breathing treatment, and his meds, and then we eat breakfast. We watch Mickey Mouse and Handy Manny, then Mason takes his nap. Patrick and I either play cars or color.

After Mason wakes up we have lunch and clean up a bit. Then we all play for a little bit and then it's nap time for both boys. Mama spends this time either playing xbox or on the computer.

After naps the boys play and I get ready for work.

I drop the boys off at Margie and Scott's and drive to work.

I rock at Gymboree haha and then go pick the boys up.

After we get home they go to bed and I blog.

Of course there is a lot of diaper changes in there and the schedule changes if I'm off or work the day shift, but this is pretty much how our days go.

We're taking it day by day and making it happen. It's hard and sometimes I break down and cry and then I remember God won't throw anything at me that he doesn't think I can handle. We will make it out alive.

Tuesday Thoughts

It's Tuesday... and April is almost over. Where has the time gone? I can't believe it's about to be May!!!!

Mason has an ear infection and he's wheezing a little bit.
I'm sick too.
Patrick started running a fever tonight.
My apartment is actually clean lol
I went shopping today, I scored some amazing deals.
SmashBurger has the most amazing burgers EVER!!!!
We had a good Easter, we went to Abilene, but a certain somebody pissed me off so I didn't eat
There was a huge fight in my apartments tonight. It was crazy
My neighbors moved out... Thankfully!!!!!
The drug dealer down stairs moved out too!!!
I'm tired of being sick!
I feel like sleeping for days...I wish I could


Speaking of sleeping...I'm going there now. Goodnight my lovely blog readers. :)

Friday Randoms!!

• "The Other Putter Team" as we call them won 5 out of our 9 dart games tonight. One of those being taken out by yours truly!!!
• After darts I went to the Happy Armadillo with Donna and we had a beer (and a butterscotch thanks to Pug) and sang some karaoke. 
• Oh and I danced too...yes me...the girl that can't dance to save her life, danced...TWICE (with two different guys might I add haha)
• When I got home I realized mom had my house key, but luckily the office was open and the security guy let me in.
• I'm picking Lindsey up tomorrow and taking her to Abilene with us (Lindsey, Bob's daughter, not BFF Lindsey)
• I really should be in bed, but I'm too tired to sleep...does that make sense?
• I got a new phone yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with it...It's an LG Optimus (with Android) and it's freaking awesome
• I'm really getting tired of sleeping alone. I can't let Patrick sleep with me because it never fails, every time he sleeps in my bed, he pees all over the place. UGH
• I guess that's all I got for now...I'm too tired to think of anything else

Have a good weekend and remember IMYLM... ...ILYLC!!!

Thursday Thankfuls

Today I am thankful for...

• My mom for coming out here to babysit today since Margie is busy and I have to work.
• Sprint for approving me for a new phone without a huge deposit like everyone else wanted.
• i <3 Radio because now I can listen to Lex & Terry in the morning!!!! You have no idea how excited I am about this haha.
• Android for having 39388449838 to keep me entertained while I should be doing important stuff like cleaning. HAHA
• YOU! Just for being you and for that fun we had together yesterday!!!! ILYLC!
• My apartments for replacing my sink in record time so we didn't have to deal with the leak for very long.
• Margie and Scott...enough said
• .10 a gallon gas rewards at Tom Thumb. Every little bit helps

Please Vote!!!!

Please vote for me in the Livestrong contest on Facebook.

http://apps.facebook.com/contestshq/contests/107917/voteable_entries/19806357?ogn=facebook&order=recency

You can vote once per day. I have a chance to win an iPad 2 and I entered with my transformation pics. I've lost 70 pounds and I beat diabetes. I went from a size 22 pants to a size 12. I lost about 8 inches off my waist.

Thank you!!!!

Bored

My dad and stepmom picked the boys up on Thursday. They are keeping them until Monday. I'm so lost without them here.

I've tried to keep busy, but I have down time tonight and it kind of sucks. I'm just sitting here on the couch playing Xbox, blogging, facebooking, yahoo messengering, bored out of my mind. Thursday night I played darts for the other Putter team. We got our butts handed to us, but it's okay because I won one game for us. After darts I did karaoke with Donna. Friday I went to lunch, did some shopping, saw Sucker Punch finally, and went to dinner. It was a great day!!!!!! Of course today was our RPG day, and sadly my character died, but I was able to bring her back to life haha. Thanks for killing me... :P

Now I'm just sitting here. I guess I could get off my butt and go work out... but I probably won't. And I'll sit here tomorrow until tomorrow night and then it's a Game of Thrones watching party at my friend's house. I'm excited to start watching that show!

Anyway, this was a rambling post, but it's been a minute since I posted so I figured I oughta throw something out there.

Have a good weekend~~~

Tuesday Thoughts

• I am so beyond tired, but I can't sleep
• My toothache is back and my coccyx is acting up. I'm starting to see a pattern here with when my coccyx starts hurting... But it sure is worth it!!!!! 
• I need to wash my car
• I need to call the court house and find out about paying my speeding ticket
• I like Pop Rocks ;)
• I want to go to Vegas to finally meet Vicky and Bella
• I can't wait to go see Lindsey and Curtis... I miss you guys!!!
• I'm hungry, but it is way too late to eat
• I NEED TO GET BACK IN THE GYM!!!!!
• IMYLM...
• ...ILYLC!!!

I guess that's all for now. The rest of my thoughts aren't blog appropriate (I am totally kidding!!!).

Monday Madness

Working today??? Ummm I think so, but I can't remember haha. I better call them first thing to check. If I'm not working then Mason needs to get get some blood work done. I also really need to get my butt to the gym. I've procrastinated long enough and my coccyx finally feels better. Grocery shopping today too!!!

Tuesday... I'm working the afternoon shift. Hopefully I can get to the gym again too. Probably meeting a new part-time sitter.

Wednesday... Working 6:30-9:30 that's about it... maybe I can find someone who wants to join me for lunch ;)

Thursday... darts maybe if Debbie's daughter wants to watch the boys. No work

Friday... I am picking up Lindsey, yes that's right... even though Bob and I are not together anymore I am still opening my home up to his daughter. Because I will always think of her as a daughter.

Saturday is D&D (well now it's DH time) day. Saturday night is supposed to be girls' night out at Sideline with the dart ladies.

Sunday... the only thing exciting happening on Sunday is Game of Thrones starts on HBO!!!!!!!

Almost Shut Down

So for the longest time I thought Bob was reading my blog and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was reading it so much. Well I got a Facebook friend request from some kid in Harlingen. I sent him a message to find out who he was and then I asked Bob about it.  Turns out it's some of his new woman's friends, although I'm not sure why she has friends in high school...unless it's her son...in which case...I've seen pics... ummm yeah.

Anyway, so apparently there's more than one of her friends that are stalking my blog. I got pissed off and told Bob that he needed to tell her to tell her friends to stop. I almost decided to shut down the blog...

and then I remembered...

All you're doing is upping my Google page rank, showing unique visits to my blog, and giving me the opportunity for bigger and better product reviews.

So please by all means, keep reading my blog, but again I say "Make sure you tell her I called her a home wrecking whore". Have a nice day!!!

The Date That Almost Wasn't

So D didn't show up for our date. I wasn't going to call or text, I figured if he wanted to see me then he needed to be the one that spoke up. I did end up texting him though and he had fallen asleep after work. I mean, the man DOES work two jobs. I knew he was tired because I could hear it in his voice when he called me earlier. He felt so bad for leaving me hanging.

We decided he'd come over for a little bit anyway after the boys went to bed. Patrick was actually still awake when he got here though. But they had a good time playing and Patrick said "I like-a you friend mama". He brought dinner over too which was awesome because I was starving. Granted it wasn't the torta that we were supposed to grab tonight, but it was still good.

We chilled on the couch, played with Patrick, watched TV and messed around on the computer. He wants to buy me a new phone because mine sucks beyond belief.

What started out as a bad night ended on a good note. :) I'm sure we'll see each other again.

Randoms

• I finally packed all his stuff up. I'll admit I cried when I did it. I'll admit I laid down on the bed with one of his shirts and just bawled my eyes out. I'm healing, but I do still love him. Not as much as I did 7 years ago, or even 3 weeks ago, but I do still love him.
• I don't know what I would do without my friends. Even though most of you are E-friends, you've helped me so much over the past four years and especially during the last 3 weeks. I love you all and I am so glad you're a part of my life. As for my IRL friends, I love you guys too. I love you for sitting up all night on Yahoo messenger, Xbox, Facebook, or your phone to talk to me. To offer me support, and lend a shoulder for me to cry on. I love you for not turning away when I cry, for not making me feel like an ass for wishing he'd come home.
• Today is one of those days when I wish the yellow and black truck would pull up. These days are occurring less and less. I wish they'd go away all together. I hate having the desire to see him. I just want to forget it...forget him. I can't, but I wish I could. All I can think about is what we'd be doing this time of year. I'd be getting ready to get Easter baskets for the boys. Who will be the Easter Bunny this year??? Who's going to help plan the birthday parties? Who's going to take pictures when we go to Boo at the Zoo? Who's gonna be Santa Claus? Who's gonna teach them silly things like how to catch a ball, pee standing up, and how to shave? 
• It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to be a single mom. I don't want to have to do it on my own. 

• At the same time... I hate him, and I hate her. Hate is a strong word, but I do, I hate them. They ruined my babies' lives.  She took my husband away. She took their daddy away. I hate her!!!! I hope karma comes back and bites them both in the ass...HARD!!!!
• Okay, time to get over my funk, dry my eyes, and get ready for my date. I just really had to get all that out.

Guess Who Has a Date?

Yup yup...

Tomorrow night I'm going on a date. I don't know where we're going because he is surprising me, which is totally sweet.

So a little about him... he's 34, hispanic, divorced. He has a daughter who is seriously the cutest thing ever! We met online and he came up to the Putter last week after darts so we could meet in person in an environment I am comfortable in. He's the perfect mix of gentleman and smart ass. Haha! Our hobbies are complete opposite of each other, but that's okay. :)

So far my favorite thing about him is when he texts me in Spanish telling me how beautiful I am... can you say SWOON??? Plus all my friends think he's hot...hehe

Stay tuned to the blog to find out how it went. :)

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Thoughts

• I am so tired, and it's nobody's fault but my own. 2 hours of sleep just isn't enough after making an overnight trip to Abilene then working newline. 
• I can't wait until lunch time :)
• I'm going to Arkansas the first weekend in June for Lindsey's baby shower!!!!! I can't wait!
• Working tonight 6:30-9:30
• The entire newline this time is super cute!!! I want to go shopping!
• I really need to wash my car, oh and I NEED an oil change
• I also need to go to the courthouse ASAP!!!!
• IMYLM...
• ...ILYLC!!!
• Did I mention I was tired? I fell asleep playing Xbox
• I wish Patrick would go to bed so I could as well
• I guess this is going to be a short post because I don't have anything else on my mind haha!

Music Monday (with a twist)

It's been a while since I posted a Music Monday post so I figured I'd post one today. Only this time instead of posting the link to a youtube video I'm going to post the lyrics to the songs that are stuck in my head lately.

Superstar
Where you from, how's it going?
I know you
Gotta clue, what you?re doing?
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here
But I know what you are, what you are, baby

Look at you
Gettin' more than just a re-up
Baby, you
Got all the puppets with their strings up
Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer, you?re a Womanizer
Oh, Womanizer, oh you?re a Womanizer, baby
You-you-you are ? You-you-you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
You got me goin?
You?re oh so charmin?
But I can?t do it ? You Womanizer
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
You say I?m crazy

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/womanizer-lyrics-lily-allen.html ]

I got you?re crazy
You?re nothin? but a Womanizer

Daddy-O
You got the swagger of a champion
Too bad for you
You just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard
It could be easy, who you are
That?s just who you are, baby

Lollipop
Must mistake me--you?re the sucker
To think that I
Would be a victim, not another
Say it, play it how you wanna
But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you,
Never you, baby

Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer, you?re a Womanizer
Oh, Womanizer, oh you?re a Womanizer, baby
You-you-you are ? You-you-you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

You?re oh so charmin?
But I can?t do it You Womanizer

Boy, don't try to front ...

I'll roll up
I'll roll up
I'll roll up
Shawty I roll up
I'll roll up
I'll roll up
I'll roll up

[Wiz Khalifa - Verse 1]
It's your anniversary isn't it?
And your man ain't acting right
So you packin' your Domiar luggage up callin' my cell phone, tryin' ta catch a flight
You know one thing straight, I'll be there girl whenever you call me
When you at home that's your man, soon as you land you say it's all me
But shit ain't all G with him no more, you ain't entertained
Since I meet you a couple months ago you ain't been the same
Not sayin' I'm the richest man alive but I'm in the game
As long as you keep it 100 I'mma spend this change,

[Chorus]
Whenever you need me
Whenever want me,
You know you can call me, I'll be there shortly
Don't care what your friends say, cause they don't know me
I can be your best friend, and you be my homie
I ain't gonna flex, I'm not gonna front
You know if I ball, then we all gonna stunt
Send her my way, she ain't gotta hold up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up, I'll roll up, I'll roll up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up, I'll roll up, I'll roll up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up

[Wiz Khalifa - Verse 2]
I try to stay out your business
But on the real you're so obvious
And if you keep fitting me in your plans and fuckin' up, your man's gonna catch onto us
That white sand surrounding us
He be handcuffing, he should work for them officers
If you rolling I got a spot where I can put you on this medical, and send you home doctored up
You wanna ride with me cause you say that he boring
Wake up you rollin' weed, cooking eggs in the morning
Ain't scared to spend this money I know I'll make more of it

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/roll-up-lyrics-wiz-khalifa.html ]

First you was in the sky, now you say you in orbit

[Chorus]

No matter where I am
No matter where you are,
I'll be there when it's over baby
Cause I was there from the start
No matter if I'm near
Don't matter if your far
All you do is pick the phone up lady
And I'll be there when you call

[Outro]
Whenever you need me
Whenever want me,
You know you can call me, I'll be there shortly
Don't care what your friends say, cause they don't know me
I can be your best friend, and you be my homie
I ain't gonna flex, I'm not gonna front
You know if I ball, then we all gonna stunt
Send her my way, she ain't gotta hold up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up

Whenever you need me
Whenever want me,
You know you can call me, I'll be there shortly
Don't care what your friends say, cause they don't know me
I can be your best friend, and you be my homie
I ain't gonna flex, I'm not gonna front
You know if I ball, then we all gonna stunt
Send her my way, she ain't gotta hold up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up, I'll roll up, I'll roll up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up, I'll roll up, I'll roll up
Whenever you call baby I'll roll up

I roll up, I roll up
Whenever you call baby I roll up

Hot and dangerous
If you're one of us, then roll with us
'Cause we make the hipsters fall in love
When we've got our hotpants on enough
And yes, of course we does
We're running this town just like a club
And no, you don't wanna mess with us
Got Jesus on my necklace

Got that glitter on my eyes
Stockings ripped all up the side
Looking sick and sexy-fied
So let's go-oh-oh, let's go!

Tonight we're going har-har-har-har-har-hard
Just like the world is our-our-our-our-our-ours
We're tearin' it apar-par-par-par-par-part
You know we're superstars
We are who we are

We're dancing like we're dumb-dumb-du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies go numb-numb-nu-nu-nu-numb
We'll be forever young-young-y-y-y-young
You know we're superstars
We are who we are!

DJ turn it up
It's about damn time to live it up
I'm so sick of being so serious
It's making my brain delirious

I'm just talkin' truth
I'm telling you 'bout the shit we do
We're sellin' our clothes, sleepin' in cars
Dressin' it down, hittin' on dudes, hard


[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/we-are-who-we-are-lyrics-kesha.html ]

I've got that glitter on my eyes
Stockings ripped all up the side
Looking sick and sexy-fied
So let's go-o-o (Let's go!)

Tonight we're going har-har-har-har-har-hard
Just like the world is our-our-our-our-our-ours
We're tearin' it apar-par-par-par-par-part
You know we're superstars
We are who we are

We're dancing like we're dumb-dumb-du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies go numb-numb-nu-nu-nu-numb
We'll be forever young-young-y-y-y-young
You know we're superstars
We are who we are

DJ turn it up-up-up-up-up-up-up
DJ turn it up-up-up-up-up-up-up
DJ turn it up-up-up-up-up-up-up
DJ turn it up-up-up-up-up-up-up

Tonight we're going har-har-har-har-har-hard
Just like the world is our-our-our-our-our-ours
We're tearin' it apar-par-par-par-par-part
You know we're superstars
We are who we are

We're dancing like we're dumb-dumb-du-du-du-dumb
Our bodies go numb-numb-nu-nu-nu-numb
We'll be forever young-young-y-y-y-young
You know we're superstars
We are who we are

Mason's 15 month check up

He weighs 22 lbs which puts him at 10th-15th percentile. I know right??? WOW Mason is skinny, who would have thought that.

He's 31 inches which puts him at 50th percentile. Perfect little man!

And is head circumference was 19 1/4 which puts his head in the 90th percentile (just like his big brother).

He's advanced in his motor skills which is AMAZING considering how far behind he was with his head problems.

Speaking of head problems, his new doctor said that yes his head is still a little flat in the back, but the sides are not bulging and his facial features have evened out. His soft spot is only a finger tip open so he has about a month left before his head will stay the shape it it.

And for all my haters out there who like to pop in from time to time...he's still the most gorgeous little boy ever and HE'S ADVANCED IN HIS MOTOR SKILLS!!! He's doing stuff they don't ask them to demonstrate until they're two. He's saying words that they don't ask them to say until they're three. So, his head is still a little flat... and????

Moving on...
He got three shots yesterday and they're re-doing his 1 year lab work since it's a new doctor. Oh and the best news we got at his appointment???

NO WHEEZING!!!! My baby made it through a big weather change without getting sick!!!!!

I love my babies!!!!

Welcome!

I've had an increase in blog traffic since publicly posting my link on my facebook page. I'd like to say welcome to all my new readers. I'd like to assume since you're on my facebook you already know about me, but just in case, here's a little backstory.

I'm Sara, I'm 27, and I live in Grand Prairie. I have three kids, Kayla is 11, Patrick is 3, and Mason is 15 months. My husband of nearly 7 years up and left us on March 17th of this year. I work at Gymboree in The Parks Mall. I've been there since December 6, 2010. I enjoy my job and my co-workers. In my free time I enjoy reading, working out, baking, trying out new recipes, listening to music, floral design, jewelry design, scrapbooking, bow making, and I've recently found my inner nerd and have started playing RPGs and video games.

I have 5 half sisters, 2 half brothers, and 1 brother-in-law. I was raised by my grandparents and I graduated from Abilene High School in 2002. I had my daughter when I was 16, married my first husband when I was 18, married my second husband when I was 20, and became a single mom of three at 27.

My blog is a mess of random stuff mixed with talk of my babies, and will soon include my complaints about entering the dating scene. And who knows maybe one day it will make mention of a man who loves my boys and me the way we deserve to be loved.

So welcome to Skeeberboo! Oh and in case you're wondering... Skeeber=Mason and Boo=Patrick. Patrick has always been Boo to Bob and I and Mason started out as Skeeterbite which got shorter and shorter until we got to Skeeber. You'll also see him called Skeebs, and Skeebies.

Friday Randoms!!

It's Friday!!! Ya know what that means? Time for some random stuff to jump out of my head and onto the screen! YAY!!!!

I subbed for the other Putter team tonight in darts and I won one of my 5 games. Overall we won 5 games to 4. It was fun, but my mom and everyone said they missed their cheerleader.

Next week is going to be AWESOME! It's Debbie's birthday so we're all riding from the Putter to Sideline and back in a limo!!! YAY!!!

I really want to finish the book, but my coccyx keeps me from sitting still long enough to read more than a page or two. I can only manage to sit on the computer and type by laying down. I know...why don't you just read laying down? Because then my arm goes numb.

We scheduled the first visitation. Bob will pick the boys up on the 15th. He's bringing her with him, but oh well what can I do ya know? He needs her car to transport them safely.

I need to go to the store because I am almost out of Coke Zero.

Oh no...meds are kicking in... should go to bed!

Everyone quit texting me at the same time... either my phone died or y'all are a bunch of wimps who can't stay up late any more. HAHA!!!!

Thursday Thankfuls

My thankfuls are pretty short this week...

I'm thankful for Margie and Scott!!!! Without you guys I don't know what I would do. I couldn't ask for anyone better to watch my babies when I have to work. You guys are the best!!!

I'm thankful for our home office for giving Gymboree more man hours to schedule. I'm also thankful to my manager for giving me more hours than the other team members for two weeks in a row. You rock and I rock and now I know you know I rock! lol

I'm thankful for my friends! Both E-friends and IRL friends. You guys have listened to me bitch, cheered me up, congratulated me when something good happens and laughed with me many times. I appreciate all of you. I especially my friends who stay up all night texting me because I can't sleep. I'm pretty sure none of those friends read my blog but here's your shout out anyway in case you peek in here sometime lol

I'm thankful for Bob...yes I said it... he gave me two handsome babies, he's being very generous with our agreement and I still have a car and an apartment.

I'm thankful to my mom and dad for making such a beautiful daughter... HAHA I actually had someone tell me today to tell my mom and dad thanks for making such a beautiful daughter lmao!!!

15 months

Skeebs is 15 months old today!!! Where has the time gone?

He's 21 pounds, sleeps 9-12 hours a night, walks and runs. His favorite food is EVERYTHING, the only things he doesn't like is brussels sprouts. He loves playing with his big brother. They play peek a boo, cars, coloring, and trucks.

His favorite thing to do is sit in the cabinets lol. He says dada, mama, bubba, eat, thanks, hi, love you, cat, doggy, ick, and for the first time today he said cup.

His hair is getting lighter and lighter, but he still looks just like his mama. He's so smart, just like Patrick, trying to figure out how things work.

Oh and he brings me a diaper when he's wet or dirty.

He's still on his breathing treatments and allergy meds.

He's growing up way too fast and before I know it he's going to be TWO...gasp!!!!

Tuesday Thoughts

• Sometimes I get down and start missing Bob. It's happening less and less every day, but it hit me hard yesterday when I picked up the mail and my house key and car keys were in there.
• Patrick is really taking it hard and has begun acting out. It's wearing me down really fast, but I have no choice but to keep on keeping on.
• Even though I have been caring for the boys on my own since November when Bob moved to Brownsville, knowing I won't get that help every other weekend is really making it harder. 
• Some days I wake up and wonder if I'm really as strong as I pretend to be. I wonder if I can really do this on my own. 
• Does it make me a bad mom that I am ready for him to come take them for a weekend???
• I love my kids to death, but I think we're all getting on each other's nerves. They need a break from me as much as I need a break from them.
• I don't know what I would do without Margie and Scott!!!!!
• I don't know what I would do without any of my friends. You've all helped me in your own way. I appreciate each of you!
• Even though it's only 15 hours I'm not used to working this much anymore haha. I've been working a day or two a week since New Years and then all of a sudden she jumps me to 5 days. I will love it come payday.
• I wish one thing would go right for me just once... My coccyx still hurts like no other, I have this horrible tooth pain that will bring me to tears, my children won't mind me, Bob left, my mom and Matt moved, work is crazy busy. I would ask "what else could go wrong?" but I'm afraid to find out the answer to that.
• Okay! Enough woe is me for one blog post.

Monday Madness

First off... I am so freaking tired of being in pain!!!! Between my tooth and my coccyx I can't catch a dang break. UGH

Now on to my busy week...

• Monday: Working 11-3! We have markdowns to do. After work maybe the gym. 
• Tuesday: No work!!!! Patrick has his speech evaluation at 9. I'm going to attempt to tan today if the boys will cooperate with me.
• Wednesday: Work!!!! Should be 6:30-9:30. Before work will be a day of bill paying and running errands.
• Thursday: I'm on call from 12-3 and Thursday night is darts. I don't know if they'll need me to play or not though.
• Friday: Working!!! 6:30-9:30 I think. Gym time!!!
• Saturday: This is D&D week. It should be our last session before we start DH (Dark Heresy). No work!
• Sunday: I'm pretty sure I work Sunday because I think we have new line going out.

Dating?

He's clearly moved on (heck he moved on before he even left) so why shouldn't I?

I married my first husband right out of high school and I married Bob 3 months after my divorce was final. So the whole dating thing is going to be really new to me. It's going to be really hard with kids, but I think I can manage.

So now the question is how does one meet people? I know that sounds like a silly question, but my whole life is kids, working, and working out. I guess I could try the online route again, but I seem to have a bad track record with meeting guys online (hello husband one and husband two). I also don't want to weed through a bunch of "when can we have sex" messages.

One thing is for sure, I'm taking it slow and not rushing anything. I know one day I'll meet the man that will treat me and my kids the way we deserve. :)

So I guess now my readers get to listen to me complain about dating lol

Friday Randoms...

• I won the first dart game which means I won my first ever dart game that wasn't for fun or practice!!!
• I got extra hours at work next week!!! 
• I can't even begin to describe the support system I have right now. People I've met only a handful of times have offered to help me with anything I may need.
• I have the most amazing friends and family!!!
• I think I'm getting sick :(
• I'm cold but I'm too lazy to go get a blanket lol
• I should go to bed
• IMYLM...
• ...ILYLC!!!
• Thinking about making a trip to Arkansas to see Lindsey and Curtis
• I'm playing Peggle on the Xbox and the music is stuck in my head
• I need to clean my house!
• I wish someone would come wash my dishes lol
• Tonight was soooo much better than last Thursday night

My Boys!

I got the call from the speech therapist today. She'll be here Tuesday morning at 9:00 to evaluate Patrick. He still isn't where he needs to be for a three year old. We'll start with some tests and an evaluation then go from there.

Mason is doing well. He hasn't wheezed in a week!!!! He'll be on his meds for at least three months before we determine if he can be off them. If he wheezes at all during that three months his three months starts over.

They are both getting so big and growing up so fast. I think Patrick senses the change because he's been acting out a lot this week. Mason stood by the window today and pointed outside and said DA DA over and over again. It also hit me today that I can't just walk into the store and buy them a new toy anymore. I don't have the money to do that. Mason wanted this Imaginex toy so bad today and it broke my heart that I couldn't buy it for him. Luckily Patrick had some money he'd been saving so he was able to get a new toy and he shared some of his money with his bubba so he could get a new toy too (though not the one he wanted).

But it's all good because one day my boys will have everything they ever wanted and I'll be sure of that!!!

Tuesday Thoughts

• I wish my blog was something incredible, but it's not.
• I wish my life was different, but it's not.
• I wish my boys weren't growing up without a father figure, but they are.
• I wish everyone would quit asking if I'm okay then looking at me like I'm on crack when I say yes I'm fine.
• I do still love him, I always will, but he's made it perfectly clear this is what he wants and he's not willing to talk so I am not wasting my time harping on it. I'm moving on. Plain and simple.
• I'm thirsty... ha!
• I sleep better at night knowing it's not my my place to worry if he's out being stupid and drinking.
• I feel refreshed in the morning when I wake up.
• I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
• Yes it hurts, but I'm healing. 
• My friends are incredible.
• My best friend is the most amazing person in the world (besides me of course hehe). Thank you for yesterday!!!! I NEEDED that! Now come kill the dragon for me then we can Zumba. lol

Monday Madness

It's that time again... freaking MONDAY!

Patrick has a doctor's appointment at 10:00 then the boys are going to Margie's for a couple hours so I can run some errands and take care of some personal business. On call from 6:30-9:30

Tuesday I think I'll hit the gym and do some tanning. Working 6:30-9:30

Wednesday I am off. I was supposed to go grab dinner with Kayla's dad so we could talk about visitation and child support and what not, but with all that's going on I don't think I'm going to. I can't really afford to eat out anyway. Probably gym today too.

Thursday I work 11:30-3:30, and I'll probably try to squeeze some tanning or something in afterward. Darts maybe? IDK

Friday I am on call 6:30-9:30. This originally should have been Bob's weekend home so I have no idea what I am going to do with my time. Maybe the boys and I will go to the park or something.

Saturday??? Again I have no clue... non D&D weekends are going to suck now.

Accepting it

Bob and I texted a bit last night and he said that he is 100% sure this is what he wants. He said he was sorry it came to this, and that he'd take care of the boys and I the best he could.

So because of the fact that he is 100% sure then I am not going to allow myself to hold out hope that I'll see his truck pull up or hope for the phone call that says let's talk about this.

I am going to accept it for what it is and move on in my life. I am going to be the best mom I can be and one day I'll move on in other parts of my life and I'll make some man as happy as he makes me.

Until then I will just keep taking it day by day... one thing at a time right? And raise my boys to be the best they can be. I have an amazing support system with my friends and family and I am grateful for each and every one of you.

Do I still love Bob? Absolutely! I will always hold a place in my heart for him because of Patrick and Mason. Am I okay with what's going on? Not 100% right now but I know I will be as time goes on.

I have one friend in particular that I would like to say thank you and love you! You're amazing and I miss you!!!! I hope you read this post.

Broken

One word is all it takes to sum up how I feel. I still wake up in the morning, I still live my life, I have to. My boys need me. Everyone asks how I'm doing and I say I'm fine, I say I'm okay but if you could look deeper you'd see that I'm not me. I'm a shell of me who has good times. Times when the tears stop and for that moment everything is alright. I can put on one hell of a front and appear strong. I can stop the tears long enough to hold a conversation, but inside I'm so broken.

Seven years... and while they weren't all perfect they were perfect for us. We held strong through some crazy stuff. We brought two amazing little boys into this world. Two perfect handsome amazing little boys. They're what keep me going. I know when I go pick them up from Abilene I am going to lose it. I can't begin to know how to explain things to them.

I know I am strong enough to do this, but that doesn't make it any easier. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have to do it for my boys though!!!

So wow...

...yeah

I went with my mom and Matt to play darts tonight. We were having a good time. We stopped at Whataburger on our way home and Bob calls.

He says "we need to talk, go somewhere by yourself". He tells me (while I'm standing in Whataburger parking lot) that he's not coming home tomorrow because he's met someone else. That's it... just like that... in the matter of one phone call my marriage is over.

I have no words, but to my "lovely" blog stalkers...talk your trash all you want, share my blog and tell your friends, laugh at me behind my back, whatever else it is you do. At this point in time I don't even care.

Good night!!!!

Craziness

We found ourselves back in the doctor's office for Mason today. He started with a runny nose and coughing last night. He was wheezing so bad by the time we got there it was audible and she didn't have to try very hard to hear it. His pulse ox was 93 and we did a breathing treatment. He was able to go home because his pulse ox came up to 94 after the treatment.

Since it's only been about 3 weeks since his last episode he will now be on 2 every day meds for at least 3 months. If he can go 3 months without wheezing then they will start to ween him off. If he can't then he stays on until he can.

It breaks my heart to see my baby suffer like this. :( I wish I could suffer instead of him.

I am still a bit sore too, but it comes and goes. I'm back to normal activity (though I haven't been to the gym yet).

Still no news on the house as of yet. We should hear something today though.

Tuesday Thoughts

I need to get back in the gym. Maybe I'll go try it out today.

I started tanning again so I'll be doing that today as well.

I hope we hear about the house today.

Yesterday afternoon I had some amazing no kid time with my best friend, and while I ended the day in pain it was so very worth it!

I am obsessed with the Xbox lol

I want to try my Kindle out so bad, but I REALLY want to finish this Warhammer book and it isn't available on Kindle (if you had told me 5 months ago I'd buy a Kindle and it sit in the case this long I'd have said you were crazy)

5 months!? REALLY?!? 5 months!? That's crazy!!!

I Miss You Like Mad...
...I Love You Like Crazy!!!

I love my kids more than anything, but I am so looking forward to this weekend. I don't have to worry about finding a baby sitter for D&D, I can spend time with my husband, I can enjoy some peace and quiet around the house

I need to go to bed, I've stayed up way too late every day last week, and woken up way too early.

Monday Madness

Picking Kayla up from her dad's Monday afternoon then going to a bar-b-que at my sister's house. On call Monday night.

Hopefully Tuesday and Wednesday is spent packing. I am hoping we hear from the real estate agent ASAP.

Early Thursday morning I'll take Lindsey back home to Weatherford then drop Kayla, Mason, and Patrick off in Abilene.

Bob will be home Friday sometime. I can't wait to give him his birthday present (mostly so I can play it lol).

Saturday should be D&D day. Saturday night is Bob's birthday party and I really hope we have a good turn out or it's going to suck.

Sunday we'll go pick the boys up from Abilene and celebrate Bob's birthday (he'll be 43 on Monday the 21st) as a family. He goes back to Brownsville Monday I believe.

I hope we move this week. I REALLY want this house. Still looking for furniture.